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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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