trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
