Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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