please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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