respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
