hotel room ftw
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
