I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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