i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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