My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
