Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
