I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
