The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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