It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
