Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
