Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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