That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
