YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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