found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
