Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How drunk are you?
Completed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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