Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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