I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
