He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
