Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize