You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
