sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
