glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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