so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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