if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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