She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
