I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My dick has a subreddit
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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