Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
