I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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