Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
