We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
