I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize