Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
