I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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