I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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