I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
