summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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