My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
