He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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