haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize