So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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