Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
