I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
