i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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