I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
