yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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