1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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