Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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