Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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