IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
