While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize