So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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