My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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