I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
