he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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