i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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