you didnt know i had herpes?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
