You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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