dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
